Gain #4

I’ve been having a go at ‘living’ and it’s good!

My focus hasn’t primarily been on my meals and snacks, which is both a good and a bad thing.

After all my project Gain is all about gaining in different ways- not just the weight- and I have been busy with friends, reading a little more and I’ve even gone camping which came with an assortment of foods!

Dealing with intrusive thoughts, as ever, has been a challenge. Keeping my mind busy (but not busy with worry) is something I constantly have to be aware of. I have been exceptionally good at motivating myself in the past few days though; I haven’t missed a single meal and that is definitely something to be proud of!

My boyfriend’s dessert. Wasn’t able to have one myself but shared his!

It seems to me that this sort of intense ‘project’ is keeping me on track and producing tangible results. I can SEE that I have had all my meals (courtesy of a tick-list!)

Yet, I can see what is and isn’t helpful. Delaying my meals for example (both consciously and unconsciously) is not helpful. I nearly bailed on lunch yesterday because it was approaching 3pm by the time I was free to eat. The excuses got more and more ridiculous though and it became blindingly obvious to me that it was anorexia talking. I dealt with it though, after voicing my concerns to my boyfriend.

I am once again concerned about dehydration. I do not drink enough and have no idea why this is still such an issue! I am considering setting an alarm which is to go off hourly to remind me to take a drink. Something needs to be done here!


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