I’ve been having a go at ‘living’ and it’s good!
My focus hasn’t primarily been on my meals and snacks, which is both a good and a bad thing.
After all my project Gain is all about gaining in different ways- not just the weight- and I have been busy with friends, reading a little more and I’ve even gone camping which came with an assortment of foods!
Dealing with intrusive thoughts, as ever, has been a challenge. Keeping my mind busy (but not busy with worry) is something I constantly have to be aware of. I have been exceptionally good at motivating myself in the past few days though; I haven’t missed a single meal and that is definitely something to be proud of!
It seems to me that this sort of intense ‘project’ is keeping me on track and producing tangible results. I can SEE that I have had all my meals (courtesy of a tick-list!)
Yet, I can see what is and isn’t helpful. Delaying my meals for example (both consciously and unconsciously) is not helpful. I nearly bailed on lunch yesterday because it was approaching 3pm by the time I was free to eat. The excuses got more and more ridiculous though and it became blindingly obvious to me that it was anorexia talking. I dealt with it though, after voicing my concerns to my boyfriend.
I am once again concerned about dehydration. I do not drink enough and have no idea why this is still such an issue! I am considering setting an alarm which is to go off hourly to remind me to take a drink. Something needs to be done here!